A Happily Scaled Back Christmas

We are currently babysitting our grandpuppy, who is making good use of the empty space under our Christmas tree!


Something interesting occurred this year as a result of my husband and I deciding not to exchange gifts for Christmas . . . the entire focus of the holiday season shifted.


As do so many, we regularly set aside a portion of our income for charitable donations, which includes purchasing gifts and food at the holidays for those that are in need. What was different for us this year is that instead of making holiday donations in addition to exchanging gifts, my spouse and I did so instead of exchanging gifts. We both agreed that we had come to a point in our lives where we simply had all we could possibly need, and adding to our own stash of "stuff" was no longer as important as trying to make a small difference elsewhere.


And amazingly, that small difference changed the entire energy around the holiday for both of us this year, allowing space for something else to come in . . . reflections on how blessed we are to be healthy and alive, and how much we love and are thankful for our family and our friends.


As a point of comparison - last year I was so exhausted by the time Christmas day arrived that I just wanted it to be over and done with. As I reflected back on why I how I had allowed myself to deviate so from the actual intention of the season, instead going to a place of utter exhaustion, I knew something had to give. The changes we made this year - foregoing giving gifts to each other, aiming for quality, rather than quantity, in the gifts we selected and gave to our daughters, leveraging the ability to shop online to avoid having to venture into crowded, stress-filled shopping malls and department stores, asking friends to grace us with their time this year instead of presents, and filling our calendar with as many opportunities as possibly to enjoy family, friends and seasonal celebrations - allowed each day in December to shine more brightly with the true meaning of the season.


I know there is still room for improvement, and I look forward to doing so in the years ahead, so please feel free to share your own successes in this area.


The happiest of 2012 New Year wishes to you all.

The Great TV Experiment - Final Thoughts

Hmmm, five days of success, two days of caving in . . . this past week has been quite the eye opener. To cut to the chase, it's crystal clear to me that TV viewing is hazardous to my mental health, which means its counter to my early retirement journey toward a more satisfying and serene life.

The five days that were spent pursuing activities that did not involve TV were all immensely satisfying from start to finish. The two days that ended up with the TV being flipped on after dinner ended on a bit of a "blah" note by comparison. And, because I'm more of a Zen-ist than a Scient-ist, I browsed the internet to find some actual data on what goes on in the brain when it's being passively entertained by TV, and found one from a site called EnergyFirst.com, which seemed to hit on exactly what I experienced. So I'll just run the article and let it do the talking for me, since I tend to wander a bit in my blogging, and it gets straight to the point. (I've highlighted the points I found particular salient to my own experiences.)

How does TV affect your health?

You may have heard that over the last few decades there have been approximately 3,000 studies conducted on the effects of TV watching on health.

What you probably didn’t hear was how many of those studies concluded that TV is bad for your health. That number is 2,888, according to Dr. John Nelson of the American Medical Association. Dr. Nelson, along with many other health professionals, endorses National TV-Turnoff Week.

Millions of Americans are so addicted to watching TV that the their behavior meets the criteria for substance abuse according to the official psychiatric manual, says Rutgers University psychologist and TV-Free America board member Robert Kubey.

What are the symptoms of TV addiction?

• - The use of TV as a sedative
• - Watching anything that comes on just to watch something
• - Feeling like you’re not in control
• - Getting angry with yourself for watching too much
• - Lack of ability to stop watching
• - Feeling irritable when you can’t watch

As with any addiction, there are negative effects. The worst one for adults is weight gain. If you watch three hours of TV a day, you are far more likely to be obese than if you who watch less than one hour, according to an American Journal of Public Health study.

Why does TV make you gain weight? It’s not necessarily that it makes you gain weigh as much as it prevents you from losing weight. Almost any activity burns more calories per hour than watching TV, except for sleeping.

There are many benefits to reducing the amount of time your family spends watching TV. Gerry Morton, CEO of EnergyFirst, has these suggestions for getting started:

• Turn off the TV and leave it off for one week.
• During that time, make a list of the shows you like best.
• List the shows in priority order.
• Make a TV schedule that allows for no more than one hour per day of TV.
• Do not eat in front of the TV
• Have TV-free meals in which family members talk and interact

Instead of TV, entertain yourself and your family by reading books and magazines and listening to the radio. Studies have shown that reading and radio listening stimulate the brain, because your are forced to use your creative powers to visualize situations . . . unlike TV, where everything is pictured for you.  

One study, in particular, found that when people watch TV higher brain centers shut down, leading to a lack of critical thinking. In other words, when you watch TV you are more likely to accept what you are being told instead of questioning things.

Interesting stuff, particularly the above comment on the effect of visualization on brain stimulation. There is no question that when I put down a book after reading for a time, I feel good, energetic and ready to move on to my next activity. And that I feel precisely the opposite when I get up from having watched TV - i.e., I want to move on to either bed, or some other similarly low energy activity.

So, though it's very unlikely I'll be giving away my TV anytime soon, I will be much more mindful of it's ability to suck away at my life energy, and therefore much more discriminating on when and how often I'm willing to make that tradeoff.

The Great TV Experiment - Days Two & Three

Day Two -


Arose feeling incredibly well rested after eight straight hours of sleep, grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down to finish Unbroken (I was t-h-i-s close to finishing it last night, but couldn't stay awake long enough). Finished it shortly before 9:00 AM, and sat for a few minutes absorbing the unbelievable sacrifices of these American POW's, wiped away a few tears, and then went upstairs to write a blog entry before getting dressed for a tennis date with my OLLI group.


After tennis, I came home, showered, and got to work on my menu for the next two weeks. The goal was to get organized and do the bulk of my grocery shopping today in order to be able to stay out of the stores this next oh-so-crowded week before Christmas. Because I happily chase store loss leaders in order to save money, I ended up traveling in a circle to four different locations, but came home with absolutely oodles of food, plus enough leftover grocery money to make a nice donation to our local food pantry this month (my spouse and I are donating 50% of our weekly grocery savings to Feeding America, which operates around the country).


I put away the groceries, took a quick 15 minute nap (Some days you just need a nap!), vacuumed a little to keep things tidy until next week's cleaning service visit, then sat down with another book club selection, albeit a light one, Silenced by Syrah, and my weekly Starbucks latte (I get a free one with each week's Starbuck's coffee bean purchase made at my local Albertson's). I then practiced piano for an hour, reviewed my Spanish vocabulary, spent time doing online Spanish learning at www.LiveMocha.com, and then went into the kitchen to start dinner. Enjoyed dinner and a glass of wine with my spouse, cleaned up the kitchen and then headed outside together to take our dog for a walk through our holiday-lit neighborhood. Encountered numerous friends and neighbors along the way, as well as several very friendly dogs, which made our dog very happy. Slept eight hours for the second night in a row.


Day Three - No way to fairly assess, as we hit the ground running at 6:00 AM, and didn't make it back in the house until 9:00 PM, at which point we headed straight upstairs to bed. I did flip on the TV out of habit as I was getting ready for bed, but as soon as I realized what I'd done, I shut if off and picked up a book instead. Made it through about three pages before I my eyes started to droop and sleep beckoned. Slept eight hours yet again!


Assessment - It's not so much what I did on Days Two and Three, although I enjoyed everything tremendously, it's that I felt so rock solid all day mentally and energy-wise. No energy or mental dips, other than the brief 15 minute nap, no cravings for simple carbs to bring my energy back up, and no shortage of ideas on how to fill my day. I experienced no evening binge eating attacks either, an annoying bad habit I have to fight. Overall, these last three days have been completely enjoyable.


A quick review of the internet just now indicates there are numerous articles on the benefits of scaling back or stopping TV watching altogether. I'm going to let this experiment continue for another few days, at which point I'll reassess and analyze my experiences in comparison to what experts have to say about TV viewing vs. overall life satisfaction.

The Great TV Experiment - Day One

I've long been aware that TV is a possible detractor in my efforts to live my life as fulfilled and joyously as possible. And even though I'm pretty careful to watch no more than one show a day, usually something on decorating or food preparation - there is just something about sitting down and passively watching TV that makes it very difficult for me to return to a place of well being for the remainder of the day. I have no explanation for why I'm affected such, and I certainly don't assume that TV has the same effect on anyone else, but I do know that my energy remains higher and my day seems to go much better when the TV remains off.


Interestingly, over the last few months my spouse has pretty much given up TV viewing altogether, other than one weekly political show, and anything involving the words "football," and "UCLA," Notre Dame" or "Green Bay Packers." And claims not to miss watching more in the slightest.


So, because I do usually get around to incorporating the things I know are good for me into my life, yesterday I kicked off my unofficial No TV Zone experiment. There is no time frame being attached to this experiment whatsoever - I simply want to measure how my day is impacted differently when the household is TV free vs. when it isn't. 


Yesterday was Day One of my experiment, and I started off the day as I usually do, enjoying early morning coffee and conversation with my spouse. Even after almost 30 years of marriage we never run out of things to talk about. This morning we went back and forth between a discussion about the reason suffering exists and the uncertain status of the Euro. I know, kind of heavy stuff, but that's why I still consider him the most interesting person I've ever met, even after all our years of being together.


After that I took my dog for a brisk two mile walk, then showered and headed out the door to meet my language partners for coffee and Spanish dialogue practice at a nearby cafe. Our discussion focused on the verb "limpiar," which means "to clean" and resulted in some robust discussions about who cleans their homes by hand vs who hires it out. (The hire-it-outs won three over two.) One of my language partners and I went on from there to a nearby restaurant to attend a festive holiday luncheon and sing-along hosted by OLLI, the lifelong learning organization I belong too. The lunch was delicious, and I ate a little too much as a result, which was fine, but meant I would need to go light on dinner if I wanted to hold steady on my scale the next morning.


I got home around 3:00 PM, and sat down to practice the piano for an hour. This month I'm focusing my piano efforts on Christmas songs in order to try and "wow" my family on Christmas Day, and I must say I had a pretty darn good time playing and singing out loud to myself. (My dog hid out in the garage as usual while I practiced - she apparently cannot abide either my playing or my singing, I'm not sure which.)


I then made a cup of coffee and sat down with Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand, a fascinating non-fiction book about the plight of POW's in the Pacific Theatre during World War II. The book focuses particularly on the story of Louie Zamperini, an amazingly talented American runner that ran in the 1936 Olympics before enlisting in the Air Corps in 1941. Other than stopping to make dinner, light as I'd previously promised myself to do, I read straight through the evening, staying up quite a bit later than I normally do because the book was just that compelling. Once I did turn out the lights, I fell asleep immediately, and slept for eight hours straight, a real treat, and something I manage only rarely these days. 


Summation of Day One - Good energy all day, good mental focus, great level of stimulation, healthy approach to food, excellent night's sleep.

The Traveling Bug

One of our primary goals in retirement is to travel extensively. I know, hardly an original retirement goal, but in our case, since we've always traveled as much as our jobs and our pocketbooks have allowed, what we are looking to do differently in retirement is to increase our travel time up from it's current four weeks, to a good three to four months a year.  In order to achieve this, we'll divide our time and money between what I call fancy and non-fancy travel.

The fancy trips are already scheduled out through early 2013: Hawaii, New England and Northeast Canada, the Mexican Riviera (a wedding cruise for our oldest daughter) and Southeast Asia. After that, we plan to explore China by riverboat, New Zealand by car, Scotland by foot, and then move on to South America once my Spanish has, hopefully, improved to a level considered intelligible!


The non-fancy trips, the bulk of our travel time, will primarily involve RV'ing around the USA and Canada in our 2004 Fleetwood popup travel trailer. We bought our pre-owned rig for $6,000 in 2005, and immediately fell in love. Once popped, it provides us with a permanent queen size bed, a stove, fridge, sink, heat, running water, and even an itty-bitty bathroom. Even while working the last six years, we've managed to log over 120 nights in our rig camping in and around our home state of California, so we know we're "in" to RV'ing for the long haul.


The beauty of RV'ing is that it is so affordable. With our rig already paid for, the only costs for each trip at this point are gas and campsite fees.  We get approximately 2 miles less to the gallon when towing, but the longer we stay at a site, the lower our per-day cost to get there, so in retirement we plan to stay long everywhere we go. Site fees currently range from $18 - $65 per night, depending on amenities. At the low end you get a spot of land and that's about it. At the high end you get electricity, water, sewer, often cable and WiFi, plus access to laundry facilities, general store, pool, spa, workout facility, clubhouse and other amenities. 


In addition to its affordability, RV'ing allows us to enjoy days on end in beautiful, natural settings that afford easy access to hiking, biking, running, kayaking, and many other "ing" activities. We can also use our campsite as a base of operation, and easily drive away to explore other area features such as movie or theater venues, dining, museums, festivals and sporting events. We prepare most of our meals in our rig, so our grocery costs are virtually unchanged. We may throw in an additional $100 - $200 per week for incidentals like the occasional meal out or event entrance fees, but that's more the exception than the rule.


If the economy goes to heck in a handbasket, and we find we have to cut our retirement budget at some point, we're in agreement that the fancy trips would be the first to go. As long as we can still get away in our trailer, and I can't imagine a financial scenario where we couldn't, our traveling bug should be kept good and satisfied for years to come.

Restaurant Ruminations

So I've been rethinking our Restaurant budget line. Nervous about feeling deprived after so many years of eating out two - three times a week, we set it a little high, but after seven months of living on our retirement budget, I'm finding that we're running at less than 50% of the total budgeted amount.


There are several factors at play here. The first is that once I retired and stopped coming home each night completely exhausted, my love of meal planning, cooking, baking and entertaining re-emerged.  I love trying out new recipes, I enjoy the challenge of deciding what to buy and prepare based on what food items are on sale each week, I love baking and stocking our freezer with treats, and I love having people over for intimate dinner parties of four to six people.


A second factor is that now more than ever I want value for my dollar. Groupon and other similar "daily deal" sites are now everywhere, and we use them frequently to save big bucks and enjoy experiencing new restaurants. A note of caution however - be sure to read the fine print to understand exactly what you are purchasing. At times you are purchasing the ability to enjoy a discount of up 50% on just the food, meaning the tax, tip and beverages will be added in after the discount is given, so, the overall savings is really more along the lines of  25%. It can still be a good deal if you would have gone to the restaurant anyway, but perhaps not such a good deal if the offer enticed you to go out and spend money you would not have spent otherwise.


A third reason is that increasingly we are enjoying a "free" meal out for the price of a theater ticket. There are several theater venues in our area that have teamed up with local restaurants in order to offer packaged nights out that include a ticket to a live stage production, plus dinner at a local restaurant, for around $50 per person. And that includes tax and tip! Stick with the beverages included in the dining portion of the package, generally water, tea and coffee, and there is no additional out of pocket expense. (We usually enjoy a glass of wine at home before leaving for the restaurant . . . I have a hard time stomaching the hugh markups on wine, particularly  after recently seeing a bottle of my favorite $30 bottle of J. Lohr wine listed on a menu for $105!)


Here's a recent evening out we enjoyed after purchasing one of these package deals:

• Event - Dinner/Show package to see the musical Chicago
• Cost - $45.00 per person, which covered the show and a three course meal, including tax & gratuity. (Parking was free at both the restaurant and the theater).
• Restaurant - A highly rated, local French restaurant
• Meal - Our choice of one of each of the following: 
• Starter - French Onion Soup or Caesar Salad
• Main Course - Chicken Cordon Bleu, Beef Bourguignon or Coconut Crusted Sea Bass
• Dessert - Apricot Fruit Tart or Chocolate Mousse Cake

We've taken advantage of three of these package deals so far, and find them to be outstanding values. And it has probably spoiled us - to walk into one of these restaurants under more normal circumstances and have to pay the listed menu price, plus tax and tip, is very quickly losing its appeal. In the long run we'll have to see if this attitude change turns out to be a good or a bad thing, but for now it certainly is good for our budget!

What A Difference A Year Makes

(A quick "thank you" to Syd over at Retirement: A Full Time Job who's holiday photo idea I loved and subsequently stole, albeit with my living room photo not her's!)

Last year's holiday season was the year I reached my physical limit. I housed two daughters and one future son-in-law, along with their dogs, cooked all of the holiday meals beginning with Christmas Eve breakfast, hosted additional company on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and endured days of non-stop rain, meaning wet doggies in and out of my normally-pristine home. Plus gift shopping and stocking shopping for a total of seven adults. In and of themselves, each one of these items was a blessing, but cumulatively they were overwhelming. I ended up on the verge of a crying meltdown on December 25 from sheer and utter exhaustion.

Not at all how I wanted things to go this year.

This season my spouse and I have made a deliberate effort to scale back the materialist aspects of the holiday season, and have shifted some of the hosting responsibilities over to our daughters, who are now beginning to establish homes of their own. I gave over the job of filling their Christmas stockings to them and their significant others as well, and have scaled way back on the amount of gifts we will be giving them, though hopefully, not the meaningfulness. We've approached close friends and suggested we spend time together in lieu of exchanging gifts, and all have agreed. My spouse and I are still exchanging stockings, but that will be it. The funds we normally spend on buying gifts for each other are being used to bring, we hope, a little joy to a family in our community not quite as financially blessed as we are. We are opting "out" of optional gift exchanges, but "in" to White Elephant exchanges, since they are generally done in a spirit of fun and at zero cost (Plus I have oodles of unused, goofy gifts from years past!). 

Today I am spending the day baking treats, and I am looking forward to disbursing them among neighbors and friends over the next couple of weeks. Later on we will be joining old and dear friends for a festive holiday dinner at a restaurant midway between both of our homes.

I have decorated my tree, and it looks lovely, but I am not planning to do any more decorating at this point. Instead, I will let my baking, cooking and chock-full calendar of planned activities communicate to my family how much they are loved and cherished. Over the week between Christmas Eve and New Years we will be enjoying a family bicycle ride to the beach for breakfast, girls-only shopping trip to look for a wedding dress for my oldest daughter, fierce games of bumper pool, cribbage and poker, and family trips to see a production of White Christmas, and also the movie War Horse, which opens on December 25. 

This year so far, I am completely and thoroughly enjoying the holiday season and all of the opportunities it presents to attend parties, plays, movies, teas, holiday light walks and cookie exchanges. 

This year we are spending less money than ever before, but this year I am full of joy about everything December is meant to represent.

What a difference a year makes!

A Blissful, Budget Friendly Day

Yesterday was one of those absolutely perfect days, and nothing about it was rocket science . . . just a good balance of exertion and enjoyment. And it was frugal to boot!

Our day started off at 5:00 AM when my spouse and I got up to prepare for a running event that my spouse's company was sponsoring. My spouse signed up to walk the 5K and I signed up to run the 10K with my older daughter and her fiance. As a result of the sponsorship, our entry fees were $0, plus we got free team tee shirts, wrist bands and some sanitary cleanser packets. I'll be donating the tee shirts to a local charity, using the wrist bands for tennis and putting the cleanser packets in my purse. Love those freebies!

A quick sidenote - I will confess I do not generally enjoy waking up at the crack of dawn. Thoughts like "Why did I think this was a good idea?," or "It's going to be cold!," usually flood my brain for the first few minutes, but I generally get over it and begin to feel the usual race day excitement about halfway through my first cup of coffee. 

So anyway, we got in the car and headed to the race. The race turned out to be fantastic. My spouse felt really good (he's recovering from minor surgery on his leg) and ran his 5K rather than walking it. I felt great during my event as well, other than one really long, really tough hill, when I had to wage a mental war to stay focused and positive. After the race my daughter and her fiance asked if we wanted to go out to breakfast, but we declined for both caloric and monetary reasons. (My spouse's 5K burned about 300 calories . . . not much more than the equivalent of a bagel. My 10K burned about 550 calories, but I dislike going out to breakfast unless it's at the beach where the scenery offsets the price. Breakfast is sooo easy to make at home that it's one of my least favorite meals to eat out.)

After the race we put on our swimsuits and walked across the street to our HOA jacuzzi. It felt fabulous on our lactic-laden legs! (Cost total for day still $0!)

After that we took naps (free!) and then spent a couple of hours reading and sipping wine in our sun filled living room.

I then went into the kitchen to make some treats for our evening event, White Christmas Dream Drops. They turned out great, and they were very inexpensive. Two egg whites, a few crushed peppermint sticks, one cup of white chocolate chips plus some other minor additions. I then moved on to prepare a make-up Thanksgiving meal for my spouse and I, so we could enjoy both the meal and the leftovers (we spent Thanksgiving out of town this year). I made roasted breast of turkey, smashed russet potatoes, steamed broccoli, cranberry relish and gravy. All ingredients, including cookies, purchased on sale, and well within our normal weekly grocery budget.

After dinner my spouse did dishes while I went upstairs and got ready for a holiday dance we were attending at our dance studio. Tickets for the event were $20 pp. They included several hours of dancing, potluck dessert, plus a show put on by the instructors and some of the students. We had an absolutely wonderful time, and poured ourselves into bed around 11:00 PM.

Cost for the day: $40
Exertion Level: High
Enjoyment: Infinite!